Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
