The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
