5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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