I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize