we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
