do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You may now shotgun with the bride
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
