Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
