i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
