seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
