May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
