he looks like a really good dad on facebook
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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