You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
