my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
