God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
