worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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