my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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