he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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