Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
