I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
