Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
only you would photoshop your dick
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
