Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
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