dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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