he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
