Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
