I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
