my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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