Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
