Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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