Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize