nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
