Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
one might say we're banned from that church
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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