shes about as inviting as chlamydia
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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