Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
