Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
