like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
