At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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