You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
