Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
