I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
