and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
