Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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