well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize