I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
