But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
organizing the empties. That sober.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
