And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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