that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Randomize