Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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