hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
