just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Randomize
