I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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