Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
