Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
