he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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