question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
