Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
