Where are you?
In a non slutty way
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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