New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
