omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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