We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize