all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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