I CAN MOONWALK!
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
