He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
