Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
