it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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